A piece of history, anyone?

Atul trusts Masand. And when Masand gives 2-thumbs up and 4 stars to Jodhaa Akbar, I need'nt convince Atul, so what if we had to travel an hour plus to reach the theatres in North Pennsylvania. An hour into the movie, and Atul cracks up at every junior actor in the film. And thats my signal that the film has gone far beyond his intellect. This is usually what I expect from him at every hindi movie screening, so I wasnt surpised. However, the film had my rapt attention, till the end credits rolled. I was giving Ashutosh Govarikar a chance. And he let me down.

1. Dude, where's my story-line?
The film turned out to be a documentary about Akbar, in technicolour. I could picture Ashutosh rote-learning my class 5 history text books, wanting to prove the amount of research he's done. Every smirk on Akbar's face had a story to tell. All the anecdotes we've heard about Akbar were right there for us to see (except Tansen+Birbal were nowhere in sight - not that im complaining). The diwane-aam & diwane-khaas, taming of the wild elephants, meetings with his nauratan, blah blah. Thats all good, Ashu- But not at the cost of storyline. The distractions from these sub-plots just spoil the momentum of the film.

2. Ravi Diwan, You're fired.
Ashu, The war scenes were a wash out. Admit it. You obviously didnt take time or effort to screen your junior artists before the big day. And it showed. Each shot had the armies playing what looked like a Navratri dandiya, with shining swords. I admit the war scenes had some decent cinematography, but its not helping!
The duet death match also failed to impress. Lots of potential, but didnt deliver.

4.Roll Sound, Light, Camera, Action. Naheee!!
Ive found a new respect for Hritik. I cannot think of any other actor who could have given a more controlled and dignified performance.He carried the film from start to finish. Bravo! I am not terribly fond of Aishwarya, she did what she had to do. Thankfully I didnt see her do a dola-Re number or I'd flip.

5. HGTV, start at home.
What still stays with me is the grandeur of the movie. And the lovely silk sheers. There was every chance of going gaudy with sets, but Nitin Desai's vision was a dream...I loved what I saw. The costumes were beautiful, and didnt hog the screen space (Devdas did that). Thanks Neeta, for being your subtle best.
After listening to the music of Mangal Pandey (another period film), I didnt have many expectations from Rehman, and I was right. We've listened to better notes from him. Though, Jashne bahar & Inn Lamhon ke grows on you. And by the way, who hired Chinni Prakash?

3. Shake 'em
The movie reminds me a lot about Dil Se. Kapur,Ratnam,SRK,Gulzar,Rehman,Sivan. And Ladhakh. But together, they couldnt stir up the magic. In Jo-Akbar, history seems to be repeating itself in more than one way. Govarikar, Hritik-Ash, Rehman and Nitin Desai will definately pull the crowd, but Im not sure if the film will break any records.

Well, if you ask me - watch it. Once. And remember, Ashutosh could have made a better movie than the one he did eventually.

Jet set go

When I wrote that Yercaud blog below in February last year, little did I know what the year has in store for Atul and me. When Bejan Daruwala, in his year book of predictions for Pisceans wrote- 2007 is great for Travel, we thot our "quota" of travel was limited to Yercaud. But what followed was a a roller coaster ride from Bangalore- Chennai-Bangalore- Bombay-Bangalore-West Chester,PA (Germany-France for Atul) -Philadelphia-Atlantic city-New Jersey- Washington DC-West Chester,PA. Well, so much for travel..

Yercaud

Yercaud is this hill station in TamilNadu - about 230 kms from Bangalore. It's got a reputation of being a poor man's Ooty, but I would probably call it a smarter man's Ooty. The reason?? Read on...

This cosy little place is at a drivable distance from the two major cities - Chennai/Bangalore. From Bangalore, we took about five hrs on an Alto (with Atul's driving) and I'm sure with a better car, we could easily have managed in four. I beleive from Chennai, it should not take more than seven hours.

Frankly, there is nothing exceptional in Yercaud. Its like any other south Indian hill station - the lake, the sunset point, some temple and a school. But I guess the beauty of the place lies in these smaller things. The big lake is located centrally and almost welcomes you to town. Surrounding the lake, there are various parks you can visit. That should not take more than an hour. The Pagoda point is at a distance of four km from the lake and enroute you can also visit the Montford school - with its imposing structures, the equestrian park and cattle dairy is bound to impress you. While you are at it, you can also go to Shevaroyan temple and the botanical garden, which does not take more than twenty mins to get there from the big lake. Though, be careful as the botanical garden which claims to to grow some of the rare species of Orchid is closed on Saturdays and Sundays, and on weekdays its open for public between ten and four pm only! Having said that - dont fret if you run out of gas - for there are two petrol bunks on top if this hillock, which is open all day!

Location Location Location... the marketing mantra applies here in this sleepy town as well. We stayed at the Sterling Resort, which (to our surprise) was an amazing experience. Infact, if you manage to get a room here, you dont need to go sightseeing at all! Not even to the famous Lady's seat to which it is situated next to. Its the only hotel in Yercaud which is located on cliff - and architecurally well planned, with all the rooms facing the scenic beauty. Thank your room balcony for it overlooks the glittering Salem city on your left , the winding road up a mountain on your right, a deep valley down below and stars above you.. could this be real?

Well, the place is small and cosy and if you are looking for adventure and action, im sure its not the place for you. You are better off with the Kabinis and Bheemeshwaris. The best part of Yercaud is that you will not find the unnecessary hooplah made out of the little things they have. There are no over-enthusiasts who want to take you for a ride (literally) - they just seem to mind their own business. The best part of our stay was the locals. They are very hospitable and very friendly, down to earth people. You smile and they smile back at you. Simple. They will be more than willing to get off the path when they see you from a distance on a windling road. Yercaud is a place for the city breds who crave to spend some time in the midst of nature...quiet and serene, and yet want to have all the conviniences - various kinds of pastas to Nutella to imported wines and Mozzarella...yes, you get them all in Yercaud!

The Beast Cometh

I've got me ticket. I'll be there with my oxygen mask.

The Master of the Game

Nineteen Ninety Three, I was just out of school, and not much of a reader. My literary appeal never went beyond comics and joke books. I used to borrow novels from the school library only to play book cricket in class. More ever the ICSE had enforced Anita Desai’s blessed Village by the Sea on us, and it had left such a negative impression on me that I never felt like lifting another book ever after. It was then that Deepak Sampathi recommended I read Sheldon’s Master of the Game, and there hasn’t been any looking back. So it was Sheldon (and Deepak to a certain extent) which initiated me to the wonderful world of literature. Yes, I read Sheldon before I read Mallory Towers, Famous Five, Sherlock Holmes, and many others. Sometimes I think back to all the prose I missed growing up, and the only thing that makes me feel good that at least I did make a start; late none the less.

Here's to you, Sidney. You made a difference. Rest in peace.

Sidney Sheldon
1917 - 2007

The Blue Brigade in the Caribbean

The Indian World Cup probables keenly await Valentines day, for its the day that the Indian squad will be announced for the coveted trophy. I am not sure why the team is being announced so late, for I would have liked the BCCI to field the World Cup team for the series against Sri Lanka. This would have given a chance for the team to blend, and to perform as one before the biggie. I guess the reason for the delayed announcement is that they don’t want the final team to face defeat before the biggest contest in cricketing calendar. To each his own, que sera sera, and all that kind of rot.

Before I talk about our chances, I’ll take you through my final fifteen, and I feel only a couple of them are up for debate. I’d stack the team with three openers: Robin Uthappa, Saurav Ganguly, and Virender Sehwag. I choose Sehwag because he has played well in domestic cricket ever since he was dropped. His off-spin can be useful (he bowled reasonably well when we toured there last year) and he can chip in as a fifth bowler. I’d however prefer him to go down the order, as with his style of batting the fielding restrictions and power-plays really don’t come into play. Robin has grasped every opportunity given to him, and has performed extremely well in the domestic circuit as well. He looks like a player who can really utilize the power-plays to his advantage, however the problem is he hasn’t really faced top quality bowling. So I guess we just have to put our faith in him, and wait and watch. Ganguly has made a helluva return at the top of the order, and his slow medium pace and nagging length just might come in handy.

Three certainties to play in the middle order of every match are skipper Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar and Yuvraj Singh. This is sure to be Tendulkar’s last World Cup, and there is a lot of talk of retirement in the air. I just hope he bids adieu with some memorable innings like he has in the earlier editions of the World Cup. Dravid has changed his style of play to suit the one-day format, he is a thinking captain and the backbone of the batting order. Yuvraj on the other hand is a paradox, he has oodles of talent but lacks in application. Some of his innings against Pakistan come to mind, when he was labeled as a finisher. Hopefully he will get some of his form back in time for the crucial ties.

I’d choose two wicket keepers since it’s a long tourney, and think that even both can play. On the wicket keeping front I guess both are on par so it could be shared, especially in the warm ups and the first round matches. Both batsmen have shown us their mettle when it comes to batting in the middle order – however Dhoni seems more comfortable setting a total, Karthink seems more apt at chasing.

On the fast bowling front we lack a quality pacer, but seeing the wickets in the Windies last year one can safely say that they are no longer best suited for fast bowlers. The spinners performed fantastically well, and I’d go in with two of our best: Harbhajan and Kumble and might even consider playing them both in some matches. I’d also be interested to see Kumble bowl in the power-plays – his tight line should be difficult to hoik. I was tempted to pick Powar as well, but then chose otherwise.

The medium pacers I would choose are lrfan Pathan, Zaheer Khan, Ajit Agarkar, S. Sreesanth, and Munaf Patel. Irfan hasn’t bowled very well in South Africa where the ball was seaming/swinging about, but lets face it – he is the only all rounder we got. He can go up the order as a pinch hitter in big matches, so that Dhoni can be saved for the killer punch. Plus he provides solidarity to the batting coming in low down. Zaheer has really impressed ever since his return, his stint in county cricket has surely helped him. His experience in playing international sides makes him invaluable in the side and I’d expect him to play all the matches from the second round. It was a toughie to choose between Srisanth and going in for another spinner in Ramesh Powar. I chose Srisanth because he was the pick of the bowlers against the Springboks. Of course he was more comfortable in the tests, but he showed what he is all about. He was hammered to all parts of the ground in India, but then the pitches weren’t conducive to his kind of bowling. Plus he wasn’t too comfortable bowling with the new ball, so it's tough to say. Agarkar forms the last of the medium pacer quintuplets, and is almost a certainty to play.

Whilst the Indian batting looks solid on paper, it all comes down to how well they play on the day. The batting seems to be clicking on the batter friendly wickets in India, but its going to be a different ball game in the islands. Also the Indian fielding will sorely miss the likes of Kaif and Raina; without them the fielding looks dodgy to say the least. With quite a few seniors almost certain to play the ground fielding is one area where I see India loosing the edge.

So who gets the boot? Noticeable are Mohammad Kaif, Suresh Raina, Ramesh Powar, Dinesh Mongia, Rudra Pratap Singh, VVS Laxman, and Gautam Gambhir amongst others. Sorry guys.

Ardent cricket fans should feel that we are "peaking" at the right time. Remember we were in the proverbial doldrums just before the start of the previous edition. We were whallopped in Kiwi land, and then even lost a warm up match against ex-pat Punjabis who didn’t make it into the final Natal XI. We even lost our first match against the Aussies only to win every match after that to face them once again in the final (which we no doubt lost). So what about this year? We are placed in group B alongside Bermuda, Sri Lanka, and Bangladesh. The top two teams in this group would be dictated by who wins the India v SL match, but either ways we should make it to the next round. My predictions for the remainder of the teams which make the super eight are Australia and South Africa (group A), New Zealand and England (group C), West Indies and Pakistan (group D).

It’s difficult to predict how India’ll play against the stronger teams. I guess I’ll be able to comment only when I see them perform in the first round. So watch do this space.

All said and done, I’ll be dressed in blue and supporting the Indian lads all the way. I think India's cricket losses become easier to swallow when you accept the fact that we aren’t the best. We are bound to loose to the better teams, so be happy even when we go down fighting.

Good luck to Dravid and his soldiers. Hope they've been inspired by that Shetty chick.

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

I am sick of hearing about the poor, defenseless Shilpa Shetty.

I am sick of hearing about the nefarious, racist Jade Goody.
I am sick of the media giving them unwarranted attention.
I am sick of the people SMSing in their support for the has-been Bollywood belle.

I think some people actually think that this whole charade is genuine. That Shilpa has been insulted and needs our support. This thing is as real as Baba Sehgal’s diploma. Come on guys, can't you see?? The writing on the wall is clear : the whole thing is a setup, a dodge, a play, a natak, another attempt by channel 4 to muster up TRPs. You don’t believe me? Just take a step back from all the media induced hysteria and think logically, stop thinking from your heart and use your brain (sorry Baba, this rules you out).

Shilpa Shetty is unknown in the UK, she is also unknown to a lot of Indians. She can't remember her last hit, not because it was long ago, but because there never was one. Her career is all but bust in Bollywood with the arrival of all the new chicks on the block. So when someone offers you three crore smackers for sitting in a house and do what you do best (i.e. nothing) would you think twice before signing on the dotted?

Jade Goody is unknown to the world. I wish I could write more about her but I have no clue, I couldn't even find any information on the web. Now if you’re given a lot of money to be rude to someone you hardly know, then allowed to publicly apologize to gain sympathy, and then have an all expense paid trip to India (for soul cleansing) would you think twice before signing on the dotted?

So C4 or Endemol the production company script a racism row – starring Goody the rogue, and poor Shilpa the victim. Both get what they want: publicity – and remember folks, there is nothing negative in negative publicity. Goody gets to visit India, her perfume brand gets reorganization she could have only dreamed of, and many people have forgiven her after her tear jerking apology. Apart from global support, Shilpa Shetty gets fantastic modeling offers from the UK. Don’t believe me? Reach out for today’s daily or read this.

The article talks about Shilpa’s mum going to London to be there for Shilpa. To offer maternal support and to wait for her when she makes an exit. Cadswallop!! If you believe that you’ll believe that you'll get a free iPod if you forward an email to ten friends. Well, Hello, mommy is going there for no other reason than to sign contracts. Shilpa has given a power of attorney to her mum before she went in, and now mummsy dearest is doing as instructed.

Whilst I have nothing against Ms. Shetty for raking in the moolah, as I might have done the same if I was made the same proposal. What peeves me no end are the number of fools who discuss this farce like it’s an issue of national importance. People SMS'ing in their support, oh puhlease, she doesn’t need it. You’ve just put in six bucks per SMS into the bank of idiocy.

So to summarise, the following are in to gain: Shilpa Shetty, Jade Goody, the mobile network company, the channel, the production company, and the tourism authority of India. You and I are the only ones in to loose. Wake up and smell the coffee.

PS: I’m appalled, nay dismayed at the tourism authority of India’s invitation to Jade Goody. But I’m so p*ssed off with this whole issue that I shan’t dignify this development with comment.

New Hobby

I've begun flickring. Nope, I'm not a pervert.

Bride and Prejudice

Two people who have hogged the spotlight, and headlined newspapers nation wide (for all the wrong reasons are Shilpa Shetty and Aishwaria Rai). Whilst Aish is all set to be the bride, Shilpa has gotten her share of prejudice.

The Nithari killings took second billing the day Shilpa Shetty decided to join the list of has-been celebrities, hoping for career rekindlement through Big Brother. Well, I doubt that even Ms. Shetty would have known that this move would put her onto the news worldwide. Just goes to show that there ain’t anything negative in negative publicity.

Well, before we go ahead and call the English racists, why don’t we reflect on ourselves for a minute? Don’t we Indians also fall into a similar category? Don’t we also distinguish based on religion, cast, creed, all the way down to sub-cast? Look no further than the matrimonial page on any newspaper for your daily dosage of racism, or shall we euphemisme it to narrow mindedness? The want of the hour are only thin girls of fair completion (or shall I say fair and lovely) - so what about the many other single girls who wouldn’t fall into that category, or those who happen to be divorced or widowed? Would they feel any better than Shilpa? In a time when grooms-to-be reject possible alliances based on photographs - we have a parade and burn cutouts of Tony Blair (who had absolutely nothing to do with this) when Ms. Shetty was called Shilpa Poppadum in a reality television program.

Have a look at the house rentals on the weekend classifieds, and you’ll find many that are reserved only for certain sects. I know well placed friends belonging to certain religions finding it very difficult to find a place to rent. Educated, working class guys with families finding it difficult to find an apartment in a cosmopolitan Indian metro – and we can’t believe our ears when someone raises their voice on Shilpa in a reality television program - even as certain parts of Bangalore burn under communal tension.

We are living in a time when tens of thousands of people in Bangalore communities on orkut want “outsiders” to go home. One member lists out the outsiders as tams, northies, mallus, gults, bhayyas, and some others which even I haven’t heard of. Blatant segregation based upon their state of birth and we cover our open mouths in shock when Goody called Shilpa “the Indian” in a reality television program. We take offense when an dumb English dame makes fun of Shilpa’s accent, whilst we don't think twice before poking at the accent of another Indian due to regional phonetics - be it at work, or even on the telly. Oh, it's just good clean fun, but only as long as we do it; Let a non-Indian do the same and we cry out racial discrimination in unison.

Just in case my hints were overlooked, we're talking about what happens inside the Big Brother house - a reality show which requests its housemates to spice up the time they spend in so as to entertain the millions watching them twenty four hours a day. These guys (including Shilpa) will do anything for TRPs, and I'm sure Shilpa will return with a huge cheque for her troubles - over and above the three crore she gets for participation. So she's laughing all the way to the bank. Please remember that Shilpa is not representing India – I can give you three crore reasons why, and I’m sure she will subject herself to more abuse for a little more moola. Kaaching!!

Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not supporting Goody, or any of her comments. However I just want to bring about the bigotry and double standards that exists in us all - it's almost like we're auto programmed to be so. So before we demand that the rest of the world see us eye to eye and treats us as equal, why don’t we try and do the same with our fellow Indian? Or would that be asking too much?

Let there be Light

It took 13 attempts to get it just right. Happy Pongal.

For those who'd like to use it as wallpaper: Click here. On the site, click on the magnification glass icon to enlarge.